What plans do you all have for Mother’s Day weekend? I’m going out with friends to a local winery and we have our supper club on Saturday. I don’t know yet what the plans are for Sunday…
I love this holiday – I essentially get a weekend off (yay!) Also, it gives us a collective moment to pause and reflect on the impact mothers of all types have had, and will have on our lives.
Being a mother is a profound experience, the depth of which I was completely unprepared for when I became a mother. I’ve realized over the short (but sometimes they seem long?) five and a half years of motherhood that, yes, my boys were given to me because they need me. But what has been even more transformative for me is the realization they were given to me because I need THEM. Every day my boys are shaping me little by little into the woman I am meant to be. I’m so grateful for their gentle – and let’s face it, often dirty – hands in my life.
So, in honor of the impact of motherhood on all of us, I thought I’d share some writings on motherhood that have touched me recently, and not so recently.
Enjoy, and Happy Mother’s Day!
The Joy of Having Boys – For all you boy moms out there. I’m sure girls are cool, too, but man! Having two boys is a hoot! I loved these simple musings on being a mother to boys. Especially the thoughts from women with older sons – it makes me look forward to knowing my boys as young men.
The Birth of a Mother – I’ve seen this one popping up in various places this week, and for good reason. Birth not only brings a new person to the world, it also causes dramatic shifts in a mother’s identity. I especially appreciate the discussion regarding the tension of balancing two opposite realities. “Most of the time, the experience of motherhood is not good or bad, it’s both good and bad. It’s important to learn how to tolerate, and even get comfortable with the discomfort of ambivalence.”
These cards from Nose Frida (one of the few things I suggest my first-time pregnant moms put on their registry) are hilarious! Download a few and send them to your mom friends.
Adele is one of my favorites, and my love for her only grew during her Grammy acceptance speech earlier this year. As a new mother, I struggled with accepting and defining my new identity. I still do struggle sometimes, but I’ve learned to be more gentle with myself. I try to view this season as a time to decide what is it about my 29 year old self that I want to hold on to, and which parts of her I want to let go. (As described by a friend of mine at the same stage of motherhood as me – I though this perspective was perfect!)
Office of the Night: A Meditation on Nursing – I still miss nursing my boys sometimes, even the middle of the night sessions. This piece captures the spiritual, metaphorical connection I often felt with my boys during that stage of motherhood. I was never able to put words to those feelings, but Rachel does beautifully.
Lost – We thought we had miscarried Wade (my oldest) early in my pregnancy. Turns out we didn’t, but that week when we thought we had was life changing for me. Many of my friends have suffered a miscarriage. Mother’s Day isn’t always a comforting time for those who experienced the loss of a child, through miscarriage or later in life. I find it helpful to be aware of this truth. This blog post has stuck with me for years, and has been passed along many times.
Every Mother Counts – Yes, eating breakfast in bed and looking at amazing flowers all day is wonderful! However, let’s not forget that millions of women around the world don’t have access to adequate maternal health care. Many die because of it. Every Mother Counts is doing great work increasing access to maternal health care in the developing world by providing transportation, education, and supplies. They also address the rising maternal mortality rate in the U.S. It’s worth checking out their site and reading up on the issue. Maybe even buy yourself a nice Mother’s Day Gift that can also help improve the lives of mothers around the world (they sell some beautiful products!)
Have you all run across any other good read on motherhood? Please pass them along!